These questions were inspired by the late George Carlin. His quotes are in bold. They were gathered from his routines. The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color KC’s eyes and the number 3.
1. Why do they ask you to get on the plane? Shouldn’t you get in it? When was your last flight?
When I flew to Hawaii in the summer of 2000.
2. Why do they call two planes getting too close a near miss? Shouldn’t it be a near hit? Have you ever been on a plane that was in trouble?
Never, thankfully.
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? What have you done when your child sweared?
My boys are still little so swearing is at that “oh that’s too cute” stage. Tim and I do remind Drama King and Little T that some words are grown up words not to be repeated by little ones.
4. How about a restaurant for anorexics? What would you call it? The Empty Plate? When was the last time you went out to a fancy restaurant?
I’m not into fancy restaurants. I prefer family friendly establishments.
5. Where do forest rangers go to ‘get away from it all’? What to you do to get away from it all?
One can never underestimate the power of a hot bubble bath.
6. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? What do you do to get a know-it-all to shut up?
I daydream and eventually they realize I’m not listening to them.
7. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? Do you believe that men are always wrong?
I don’t think anyone is every ALWAYS wrong. Well…My brother, Rob, may always be wrong but I think that just our sibling rivalry talking.
8. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless? Tell us about a time when you were caught naked.
It must not have been important because I don’t remember being caught naked.
9. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk? How badly do flies annoy you?
If they stay away from me and my food, they are allowed to live.
10. Why do they report power outages on TV? When was the last time that you went without power?
We had a small power outage a few months ago. It didn’t last very long.
11. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Have you ever been or considered to be a vegetarian?
Never. I love steak too much.
12. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Tell us about a time when either you were arrested or came close.
I’ve never been arrested or even come close at all.
13. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Have you ever owned a cat?
I’ve owned cats most of my life. Currently, we have two cats.
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